am just as guilty

i am a walking contradiction
i am just as guilty as the rest
some of it is different than norm
but i am just as guilty as society is
i say i want to be this way
yet reality shows i am another way
a way i dont want to be
a way i dont want to see
a way i dont want to feel
i am selfish
that is true
but my selfishness
is a kind that is not
as others imagine
i am odd
i am unique
i am weird
i am different
i am one-of-a-kind
i am me
that's all you can expect
the more i am on my own
the more i am learning
about myself
and what i thought i wanted all my life
is coming full force and show it's light now
who am i?
i ask myself
the answer to that question
is still being researched
so i am not perfect
yet i am human
and so what a little chemical inbalance upstairs
f*ck it
it's who i am
take me
as i am.