this coming winter sixteen years ago
we met
i was at a time in my life where
i didn't know who i was
i didn't know where i was
i didn't know what my future was
you and i became friends
looking back it was an impulsive decision
but i asked your hand in marriage
thinking i could be an excellent husband
after being abused by men in past
and honestly i can say i made a great husband
never abusive, always took care of everything
we wanted to have a family
and a year later was blessed with our angel
the son i always wanted
but never thought i'd have that chance
since i was different than the rest
the time came when i decided to leave you
but the price i had to pay was "giving up" my son
to this date nearly fourteen years later i regret
you were such a warm and funny woman
i had no idea what was in store would have ever happened
like most wives, a husband leaving them is never an easy transition
selfishly, i felt i had to go out at my young age and find myself
my path took me from our hometown where you and our son lived
to the south, to the west, to the east and back home several times
i know our son was so upset with me regarding moving home and leaving again
and maybe one day he will understand why I felt I had to leave when the tough got going
yet one thing never changed, and that's how much I love him
and no one can ever doubt that love for him
i am guilty of moving away and minor things
i have had to deal with that everyday
the majority of my depression stems from all of this
but what you have done is unforgiveable
or i should say the "lack" of what you done when i was gone
i take responsibility as I should have never left him
that's my fault and i am accepting responsibility for that
now i am back, home, here and not leaving anywhere
i now have to try to attempt to fix what you have broken as well
i will do what i can to heal the wounds he has with me
but the list of things you allowed him to get away with
has put him in the trouble with the law he is facing now
his education problems result in a possible learning disability
because you chose to do a majority of his homework over a couple grades
he missed nearly 67 days of school when i was gone last year
you let him grow marijuana plant for an "experiment"
he broke into the neighbors house
he rules that house and you let him
you let him run the streets, never knowing his exact location
and now I am back and I am not going to stop until i get him
only God knows the real truth of what you did and didn't do
to protect him from the thugs, the destruction, the hatred
but God knows I am here and I am not giving up
I forgive you for what you did and didn't do because the anger has consumed me
but I wont forget as I am going to face an uphill battle to save my son
and show him there is a better life out there
My intentions have always been pure and heartfelt.
If I didn't love my son the way I do, I would not fight.
I may not win this custody case, but be damned if I dont go down without a fight
Our son has 5 years until he is legally on his own and I feel I can get him on his feet
You are not the one who he "hates" and tells you repeatedly
Because mommy has let him get away with everything under the sun
So Daddy is here, and I will prove to him, one way or another.
d.
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