Words

tonight lying here in my kingdom of doom
not knowing anything that is up in the air
unsure of where my path is heading this time
with my heart shattered by recent events
overcome by sadness, anger, hopelessness
i am in a place right now where i hate
a place where i check in every so often
actually too many times, too close together
don't like this place, why can't i escape
not knowing what is lingering above me
putting all my eggs in one basket
when only what if all the eggs break
and left with nothing, no detour, no fork in road
so alone right now i feel as if i am on autopilot
not looking for self pity, not looking for love
wanting to have a stable week mentally
my faith has been yanked out of me
the hardship i currently am under is taking me down
mentally, physically, financially and emotionally
this really isn't even a poem, this has no intention
this is just words, words that dont mean nothing to anyone
as i am alone in this single man's journey
fighting for my own rights as a human, a father, a person
not going to close the door for good, no no no
tired of the only connections i have want more than i want to give them
just wished i could catch a break, shed some light, know something
i want the phone to ring for an interview
i want the post office to deliver good news about my settlement
i want the knowledge that i will not lose my apartment
i dont want to be back on streets, without a stable roof over my head
hell i can't even afford cat litter, toilet paper or milk right now
can't even buy a stamp to send my son a letter since he wont talk to me
hard to deal with mom's emotional and physical meltdowns when i have my own
tough to be strong when you feel so weak inside and just want to disappear
how does one go on with such an empty void in your heart as i have now
running out of time, running out of this week's energy, tired of running
again, these are just
words

d.