Looking For Me

Running. Scared.
So dark.
I ran into the darkness of the unknown
searchin for the light that someone said was out there
i ran from the home that i no longer wanted to be a part of
my family was broken - i wanted more than that
i felt i never had a real chance
the traffic in my head was jammed up
i ran to through the woods in my brain
onto the top of the treetops to see the sky above
looking down around where i should be and jumped down
only to find myself in the same path as before
i was in a labryinth of my own madness
the tears
the fears
i kept running grasping onto anything and anyone i could
i was scared of where i was and who i wasn't
the fork in the road always was ahead of me
always choosing the wrong direction
silly me did i even know why i was running
i saw people on the left in the lake swimming
i choked as i saw the cruelness of the world around me
i looked to the right and saw the dreams i have had wanted
the ground beneath my feet was moist
the earth began to swallow me into the darkness more
screaming for someone to help pull me up and out of harms way
an energy ripped me out
i began to run again, faster this time,
why is this path not taking me anywhere
i smelled the fires of the bridges i had burned
i kept running wanting to go back to rebuild those bridges
i traded my family out to find something that i thought i wanted
i felt the walls closing in over and over
nothing can be a substitute for love when the end result is damage
i didn't even think twice when i made all these decisions in my journey
i ended up getting some things i asked for but hinesight i suffered
my body started to break down slowly, the actor couldn't pass the smile off anymore
the mind inside began to melt turning into a hot mess of madness
i've created monsters inside me that are ripping at my flesh to get out
while in crowded rooms i just wanted to be left alone
the spotlight began to fade away and i stopped
i stopped running. i was tired.
i had to ask God what the hell was I doing, where was i going
i was told i was looking for me
now with some rest and mental rehab those layers will shed
leading me to a new path with no more darkness
no more merry go rounds will i want to ride
so if you are looking for you, you will face some demons and the devil itself
because all i have been doing is lookin for me

d.