emotionless

the tide has turned
a time
or two
went from the highest of the mountains
to the lows of the bottom of the ocean
seems the older i get i am becoming
just a little different than that
my instant emotions are no longer taking toll
i am somewhat numb inside now
thinking of positive thoughts
i have came far
yet i have more to learn
being on my own
single, nonetheless
for three years now
really has changed my outlook on life
on love
and lack of
the challenges i have faced
i crushed them all
even when the walls were crumbling around me
i have become more of a fighter
stronger
tougher
yet still not tough enough
i am threw with the old habits of the way that was
looking forward continuing this journey and learning
developing
creating
the real man that lies within
all along
no more do i "need" someone in my life
to love me
to care for me
no more wasting energy on looking for someone
to hold
to love
to hold
when one spends so much time searching
that energy is wasted
and "they" could have passed you by
you must open your soul,
energy,
heart
and soul to allow that special someone
to enter, re-enter or find you life
my time is coming
and if my doors remain open
and my heart is never filled
i know i have experienced a lot in my life
and can continue to do so
alone
and be okay with it