the vag

here you come knocking down the door to my heart
where did you find the key that i had hidden so well
the strength of your force just pushed me back
your hair flowing in the air
your eyes glaring at me
with oh sweet seduction
you came in and tugged on my shirt
and swept me away to another place

youre the vag
oh yes the sweet vag
your juices are always flowing
oh yes the sweet vag
something i never saw coming
the vag

i tried to walk away from your pulsating vibes
the energies of your sensuality just grabbed me
i ran so far yet you pulled me back in on the line
telling me i was not going anywhere
not without a fight

surrender
surrender
i give up
no i can't give up
it's the vag
you win
at least this time

the vag
the
very
aggresive
guy...

watch out, he'll get you
like she has gotten me
the vag

Better Off Alone?

i know me better than anyone
i have come to terms with me
more than anyong else ever dared
i am at a time in my life where
i have become independent
and enjoy being alone
as I have been for so long now
along comes someone into my life
and has sparked some energy
but yet my physical and mental energy
is struggling to keep up with the demands
of everyday life with work, rest and
taking care of the trials of parenthood
taking care of my family
wanting to get on my own soon
get my car when i get the money
pay off the bills that are piling
yet still have time to breathe
time to spend with someone new
i know my body
i know my mind - i think
and i am afraid i will hurt someone
without even trying too
i am scared to let anyone in
as i have built this fort around me
and she is so special and so beautiful
but i feel like i just am not at a point
to fulfil her like a woman needs to be
someone help my physical pain
someone help my mental pain
someone help me
figure this all out
just one day at a time
i do know one thing is for sure
i am a good person
i have a huge heart
but my inner soul has been damaged
and repairing is not like using glue
maybe more time
maybe be alone forever
just pure exhaustion
both physically
and mentally

help

d.

the book of fatherhood

today was an eye awakening day
my son tells me after years of anger
that he dislikes me
doesn't want me here
has built a wall up around him for me
wants me gone
can't wait till I move out
and stay out
to leave him and his mother alone

now most people hearing that from their son
would spend the next few moments or hours crying
but my heart is so frozen with this subject
after years of moving around the united states
and back home to indiana
and then only to leave again
who is to blame him

but

i am not a dead beat dad
yes there were times that i didn't pay support
there were times where i didn't call everyday
but i have loved him from the moment i heard we were pregnant
and now thirteen years later
i am paying the price continually for the birth of my miracle
i never thought i'd have a child or even children
i treated my son's mother like a queen during pregnancy
i wanted the healthiest, most beautiful child
who now only turned against me
and who is to blame

no one
but me

to be honest he is the reason i moved out
moved all over
trying to better myself
while also chasing a fake dream that has ended
and reopened in the last year with new sight
i wanted betterment for myself so i can provide
a better future for him, than i had myself
but he doesn't want my money
my love
my time
my prescence
anymore

yes it hurts like hell
when you have been the main cause
i should have protected my son
from the things his mother allowed him to do
and it cuts like a knife
to the core

nothing can heal it
i forgive myself
i forgive him

the hole has yet to be filled
and never will.

who wrote the book of fatherhood
because i thought i was reading my own book
guess the critic doesn't like it

d.