Is There Really Somebody for Everyone

a lot of people have had their first loves
some of them have never even had a chance
they say that there is someone for everyone
i tend to think that is not true anymore
sending light and love out in the universe
only to get nothing back in return so far
with so much that i can give to someone
you'd think that someone would come this way
i put up the walls for so long but they are crumbling
wishing that some energy would whisk by taking me
in my heart i feel that i will be alone forever
even with the twinkle of hope that destiny has someone for me
i've gotten strong over the last few years, claiming i am fine
when in reality i've never felt so alone in my life
isolated self to my caged home looking for the key
but why bother anymore looking for a key
i am turning more into the bitter old man that i made fun of
the community for which i am a part of is filled with disgust
embarassed to even be a label for which i feel i even am not
so tell me is there really someone out there for everyone
because in my mind, i can't see me ever happy with someone
and this world for which i am in now is full of sadness
i dont need a fucking medication to force me to feel otherwise
it is the reality that i am alone and sick of it
i am human, i have desires, wishes, dreams, but that is all they are
false visualations of the reality that there isn't someone for everyone
it is all game in the world of love or lack thereof
nobody is good enough to just be themselves and accept others for flaws and all
to be "perfect" is only way to really make it right, beauty, no brains
well i say fuck that because i will remain alone as i wont conform
to be anything more than what i am now, which is a good human with a soul
not playing the victim card anymore, just my eyes see and my heart feels
the truth
the pain
the sadness
did i make my point, no
will i, no
just words written
nothing can express how i truly feel inside
i am from another planet
i am from another world
i am from another galaxy
i am from another soul
because the way i feel inside, nobody out there can even remotely feel the same way
finding mister or miss right is not even in the picture
none of this "the time will come when you least expect it"
along with all the other words of wisdom "they" say...
the simplicity of my writing is this
i just want to love and be loved in return
accepted for me
simple?
apparently not.

d.