state of transformation

new ideas
without the old ways
new goals
without the old outcomes
new thoughts
without the negativity glooming
new hopes
without the failed dreams
new guidance
without the lost path
new light
without the darkness
new dreams
without the nightmares
new ambitions
without the poor progression
new radiance
without the self doubt
new attempts
without the road blocks
new beginnings
without the unhappy endings
new strength
without the weaknesses
new direction
without the broken compass

it's worth another shot

Part Time Lover, Full Time Fool

we cant just settle for just anyone
we gotta have someone love us for us
we dont want to be anyone's second
we want full attention of a loved one
we must treasure the moment we are in now
we shouldn't be apart unless necessary
we could not be part of the drama of life

i dont want to be your part time lover
cause i would be a full time fool

we haven't met yet in this world, or have we
we do not have to rush into anything special
we just have to wait for the spirits bring us together
we gotta know that you will be there for me, flaws and all
we must focus on the now, never going back in time

i dont want to be your part time lover
cause i would end up being a full time fool
and i wont make love again until i am in love
yes i have put myself down so far that i have lost hope
but the hope is going to be found
and i will be loved again
or maybe really for the first real time

no more fool i will be
life will pass be by
before i be a fool again

d.

"Internal Darkness"

Galaxy trips are livid within
Light years rebel around us
Universe exists internally
Years consume our spirit
Chemicals spill all around
Words fulfill emptiness
Passions ravel our soul

Peace comes to us all
Once we find our hope
Facades can be deceiving
Attitudes prevail our mold
Lovers come, lovers go

We do not hold tightly
To the ones who last
Eternity seems useless
The tides pull us down

Brainwaves communicate to us
Thoughts fall through the cracks
Disturbances equal our society
life form turns to liquid freeze

Truth
Lies
What do we believe
What do we hear
What do we read
What do we see
What do we feel

Sliced retinas show us blackness
A stitch can not save the sight
Breathe into the outside
The tingling sensations grows
Can you feel it
Can you trust it
It’s me
I am there

Just Call Me

Call me crazy
Call me bitchy
Call me lazy
Call me hateful
Call me depressed
Call me shitty
Call me indifferent
Call me insensitive

Call me names
Call me weird
Call me shallow
Call me fruity
Call me unique
Call me interesting
Call me full of it
Call me slow

Call me gay
Call me straight
Call me truth
Call me lies
Call me airhead
Call me dingy
Call me intelligent
Call me delirious
Call me a pain

Call me doubtful
Call me disappointed
Call me high-spirited
Call me everything
Call me obsessed
Call me arrogant
Cal me lonely
Call me pitiful

Just remember before you call me

I tried

My Own Private World

it's like no one can hear me screaming for help
the constant baggage that arrives all the time
just bringing me down, pissing me more off than before
i mean damn
i am paying full price for misdeeds from my past
but give me a damn break
you say i am complaining, you can say i am bitching
but wouldn't you with all the shit i am dealing with
yes other people have it worse off
but it's my own support or lack of support
and my own "pity" as i was told
it's my unability to cope with all this
health is fucked
finances are dangling
i have chosen to live in a world alone
unwilling to let anyone in
who would want in
seriously
i am screaming out loud to the world
through my words, through my pity,
through my complaining and bitching
all i want is a hug
i want to see the light that i once saw before
it's all dark
no matter how hard i attempt to get it together
it just is beyond my control
when my health outdoes me
and the past is over
but i am paying the price on a daily dose
GRRR i want to scream and cry
but i am a mute with no tears
i can't make myself happy nor anyone else...
so fuck it!

d.

He's Waiting

The soul remains the same
the love of another awaits
just as I am sitting here
he is out there thinking of
someone like me
yet we have not met in person
our souls have met in the energies above
we know we exist for each other
he is going through the motions of daily life
knowing that one day he will be paid in full
when two hearts and two souls meet and bind
i go through my own randomness
trying to get through each day myself
knowing that he is out there
i hear his voice
i see his silouette
i see him when i walk (up in front of me)
i feel his soul at night
i sense his being near me
and one day he will walk into my life
or i may walk into his
and until then
that very moment
i know that
he's waiting...

...for me

Men

Women are complicated, but men...
a whole different story
the majority of men are born with one brain
that lies between their legs
it stands up and says "i will direct now"
men are obsessed with sex
every day
every hour
no matter what or who it is with
judgement passes their minds
and unless you have
a hot body
wear the latest designs
driving the latest BMW
and are perfect in every way
they dont give you the time of day
those of who are just themselves
surviving day to day of the realities of life
are left alone on the corner
alone and lonely
without a chance to be loved for ourselves
it's all about sex
different person, different day
no committment
no family values
no sense of simplicity
just drama...
now that's gay men, what about straight men
same, different, but yet they are men.
period.

Sacred Vision

some things we take for granted
if you could have one thing taken away
would you give up your eyes
or would you rather be deaf
my eyes are going bad
apparently due to my health
i pray my eyes will be okay
how would life be
if one could not see
my vision is blurry
and even doubled
it all happened over night
last week
i pray i dont go blind
or legally blind
because our eyes
are to the soul
and our soul would be empty
without them
one day i could see with my glasses
then woke up my eyees were all blurry
and slowly gotten worse the last two weeks
getting a new script this week
for new glasses
yet eyes are still going bad
scary huh?

d.

When I Saw You (The First Time)

looking back
and remembering that time
when i first saw you
the first time
you were standing there
on the other side of the room
i would never expect
what would happen
would
your beautiful face
your great happy smile
your eyes meeting mine
you walked my way
looking directly at me
i thought maybe you were looking behind me
you asked me my name
you offered me a beer
then we talked for a while
then we made our way to the dance floor
you pulled your hat off
your longer hair on top fell down your face
the sweat from the heat of dancing
the passion you were letting out
the look in your eyes
as if i was something you had been waiting for
or was i just another trick
we danced so close as the music thumped
the lights around us swirling all over
you pulled me closer
leaned in for a kiss
that moment i knew you would be mine
i couldn't believe you existed
i couldn't believe you liked me
and later loved me for me
your eyes
your hair
your sweat
your skin
your kiss
your lips
when i saw you
the first time
i knew you were the one